I am leaving the day after tomorrow (monday 16th August) on holiday with my parents and younger brother. It's going to be hell... I begged my mother to let me stay home on my own but she didn't even listen to me. I so needed sometime to myself.
What really pisses me off is that I tried to explain my reasons but she didn't understand...she never will. So, they are taking me with them against my will but they don't care. I am just one more suitcase they are taking in the car.

I cant believe I am really going...15 days is an eternity... my father is home for two weeks and I almost want to kill myself... and now I will be with him 24/7 during two wholes weeks. It's going to kill me.

And then tehre's the gym... I won't survive 15 days without going to MY gym and to be with the people I love. There's someone in particular that I cant stop thinking about and these two weeks were the chance I had to try to get a little closer to him. Damn...cant take him out of my mind...which is competely non sense because it will never happen. I have so much on my mind right now. I began to hate myself again...it's being so difficult. I wish my family would try and not to get things even more complicated for me. I wish I would live on my own. I swear...it's what I wish for every single day: to have my little own place and be able to do what I want without having people picking on me.

Why do I always pick the wrong person? Why do I always pick someone that will never look at me the way I look at him?? This must be karma...

I was trying to figure out my mood tonight but I cant. I think I feel angry at everyone around me. I hate them all. Just want to be left alone.

Who ever spends their time reading this shit must think I am mad...I don't really care. This is how I feel right now.

I'll get back here later may be...

purplexxx